


Daddy's Gun

by chrissy2



Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt: Motley Crue
Genre: Based on Real Events, Don't Know Who To Trust, Other, Struggles Of Divorce, Very Affectionate Father, parents fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 13:08:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7440439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrissy2/pseuds/chrissy2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gunner remembered when his mother stormed through the million dollar house she forced her soon-to-be ex husband to buy and demanded that she take him back to her place, as it was her week to have him. He remembered screaming as loud as he could scream, crying all of the tears out of his small body, but his mother did not seem to care. He remembered dad stomping out of the room, and for a moment, Gunner felt abandoned. His dad wasn't going to at least hug him or kiss him goodbye? Then, from down the hall, he heard the 'click', and mom did too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daddy's Gun

**Author's Note:**

> Based on real events, inspired by the autobiography, but ultimately a work of fiction that is not meant to shed the real-life personalities in a bad light nor in an idealistic light nor for profit.

I.

It wasn't like mama and daddy picked a favorite or favorites, as there was three of them - himself (Gunner), Decker and Storm - it actually seemed to be the other way around: Gunner was the first to hug daddy's leg, the first to be picked up when demanded, the first to be kissed, the one to play the roughest and fastest when out in the back yard. It might have been because he was the first to be on the road with daddy in his early years. It might have been because he and Decker were boys and Storm was a girl, making them automatically drawn to the parent of the same gender.

But even when long passed that simple-minded age, when mama tried to convince him that he was a terrible man, _He's dangerous - He's mentally unstable - I had to leave him and I couldn't just leave you and the others there with him -_ Gunner still would always want to see his father. Storm and Decker were too afraid of opposing mama, but Gunner could only be away from him for so long, and she had no right to keep him away.

Whenever she said these things about daddy, he just could not believe her. He just couldn't.

 

II.

All Gunner could remember was how affectionate his father was, how funny he was. All the hugs and kisses, his facial hair tickling him, the cuddling, how he'd read stories out loud to them in hilarious voices, let them win in the little wrestling matches, blow down onto their bellies. Yes, he could be just as stern as any other father, but rarely. Gunner was never afraid of him. He never actually lost his temper with any of them. In fact, it was like he was trying everything  _not_ to raise his voice, anything in the world not to, even when mama asked him to.

But he, as did Strom and Decker, remembered the look daddy would give mama. It was a look he saved only for her whenever she said, "You need to be more forceful with them, otherwise they'll think they can just get away with anything," or, "You're the dad. It's your job to do these things."

In response, his voice low and a bit restrained, he'd say, "No. They're just kids. They don't know any better," or, "I don't want to scare them. If we scare them, they won't tell us anything. They'll never be honest with us when in they find themselves in trouble," or something along those lines.

 

III.

He remembered how sometimes daddy would look down at him, the eyeliner around his eyes making the green in his hazel orbs stand out, and how sad they sometimes looked. He wondered if daddy was tired or maybe he had done something wrong.

And Gunner, being as outspoken and honest as daddy, would ask, "Did I do something wrong?"

And daddy would say, "No," shaking his head, eyes widening, as if snapping out of a trance, "Why do you ask?"

"You looked at me funny."

"Oh, no, son," he'd say, leaning down and smiling. "Daddy's just tired." Then he'd lean down, wrapping his arms around his small body and dipping his head down into his small shoulder. "You haven't done anything wrong."

Sometimes he'd hug him for a very long time, sometimes too long for comfort, but Gunner never stepped away.

 

IV.

Storm and Decker and him knew it was coming. Mama and daddy were talking less, and when they did, they never got along, and it didn't seem like there was ever a chance. Mama went on her little 'vacations', and daddy would always seem more expressive whenever she was away. It was only a matter of time before mama decided to take the three of them on her little trips with her, daddy watching her leave with them with that special look he saved for her, shifting to a smile whenever Gunner waved back to him, told daddy that he loved him and would see him soon.

The number of trips away from home, away from daddy, became more frequent, longer, then it turned out mama had a place of her own, and planned on keeping them there with her.

 

V.

All Gunner could remember was how daddy would sleep in his bed with him when he asked him to. He'd wrap an arm around his small waist, spooning him, telling him over and over gently, "Go to sleep, Gunner. Go to sleep. You'll be tired tomorrow."

A lot of the times, Gunner would wake up and daddy would be gone, as he could _never_ stay in the same spot for too long. It was the same for interviews: Constantly moving from the lap of the chair, to the arm, to standing beside it, sometimes worse than Uncle Tommy, who was _bad_ with fidgeting, bad with keeping still.

But sometimes, daddy would actually lay there with him all night.

 

VI.

When Gunner read of the real Frank Feranna in his dad's written word, everything made sense. He couldn't even finish the stories. They were too heavy. He just could imagine living that kind of life. He couldn't imagine the daddy he knew treating him in such a way.

 

VII.

When he read the passage of mama barging into their old home and dragging him to the car, all the thoughts came rushing back: He could hear the click of daddy's gun and all he could think about was pleading for daddy not to shoot mama.

He screamed and screamed for him not to do it.

And so, Gunner left with mama, knowing it was for the best. He didn't want mama to get hurt and he didn't want to be responsible for daddy doing it. He didn't want daddy to go to jail.

 

VIII.

On the mornings Gunner would wake up to find daddy still in bed with him, sometimes he would still be asleep and he would keep still until he couldn't take it anymore, wanting daddy to sleep as long as he needed to. He knew he hardly ever slept.

Other mornings, he would turn to meet daddy's intense gaze and wondered how long he had been awake.

 

VIX.

Ever since that day, Gunner never screamed. It took him years to truly learn how to cry again. He did this because he didn't want to be a burden to either, cause a tragedy.


End file.
